I have this friend who is super talented in that annoying way, where you feel like you could hand him a clavichord and he'd hand you back a meticulous symphony and also, like, the woolly mammoth cubs he managed to pull from its insides, and then he'd tie the whole thing together with a performance piece about heartbreak and noodles, as he tickles the clavichord and the woolly mammoths dance -
but the thing he is best at, without a doubt, is saying, "Hey, have you heard this band yet?" and then watching me fall to complete pieces over the brilliance of said band.
It's sort of like he is peering into my heart and saying, oh, look, here's what's missing. But he'd make a really funny joke about it, because also he's pretty funny.
Good thing he's not at all handsome. That'd be a little over the top.
So, via my friend, here's the best new thing:
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