Come visit, if you'd like.
Either way, I leave you with this.
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11.21.2013
goodnight, goodluck
Something happened. I'm not sure. The sort of...self-arrangement this blog required made me sleepy. And then things got real big and real small and there's this kitten and all so either way, I'm moving over here for a while, where it seems more okay to be a little messy. I'm never going to have a nice purse or furniture not chewed by kitten and I only own one pair of Rachel Comey shoes and I can't take a selfie to save my life (seriously, there's a skill to that it seems). So maybe Tumblr is only for the youngin's, but I'll try it on for size.
Come visit, if you'd like.
Either way, I leave you with this.
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Come visit, if you'd like.
Either way, I leave you with this.
6.23.2013
stopping by
Does attempting to renegotiate your APR count as an act of bravery?
Hello to you, if you are out there. I am in here. Very deep in here.
I'd like to dig out and come back, some time. We could chat about where we've been and eat some cherries. They're almost in season. I'd show you lots of photos of my kitten.
Do let me know how you're doing, though. That has always meant more to me than you know.
5.09.2013
people (real and imagined) who are helping me through my latest crisis
- Taylor Swift
- anyone unlucky enough to find themselves in gchat range
- the kitten
- Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons
- the Me of late 2010-2011
- anyone unlucky enough to find themselves in gchat range
- the kitten
- Daenerys Targaryen, Mother of Dragons
- the Me of late 2010-2011
5.08.2013
it will not be harmed
Pericardium
Joanna Klink
Am I not alone, as I thought I was, as I thought
The day was, the hour I walked into, morning
When I felt night fly from my chest where prospect had
Slackened, and close itself off, understanding, as I thought I did,
That the ground would resist my legs and not let them
Break nor let them be released into air as my heart, in its
Muscle, might be released from the body that surrounds it,
Like someone who, placing a hand on a shoulder's
Blade, felt a life move inside an hour and a day
Break from the day the hour meant something more than weakness,
More than fear, and flew forward into the depths of
Prospect, your arms, where you'd been, before me, waiting
For me, the way the body has always been waiting for the heart to sense
It is housed, it is needed, it will not be harmed.
Joanna Klink
Am I not alone, as I thought I was, as I thought
The day was, the hour I walked into, morning
When I felt night fly from my chest where prospect had
Slackened, and close itself off, understanding, as I thought I did,
That the ground would resist my legs and not let them
Break nor let them be released into air as my heart, in its
Muscle, might be released from the body that surrounds it,
Like someone who, placing a hand on a shoulder's
Blade, felt a life move inside an hour and a day
Break from the day the hour meant something more than weakness,
More than fear, and flew forward into the depths of
Prospect, your arms, where you'd been, before me, waiting
For me, the way the body has always been waiting for the heart to sense
It is housed, it is needed, it will not be harmed.
5.06.2013
things i like a lot in theory but which ultimately terrify me
- horses
- hang-gliding
- motherhood
- false eyelashes
- relationships
3.27.2013
it's also pretty hard to remember life's marvellous
In Favor of One's Time
Frank O'Hara
The spent purpose of a perfectly marvellous
life suddenly glimmers and leaps into flame
it's more difficult than you think to make charcoal
it's also pretty hard to remember life's marvellous
but there it is guttering choking then soaring
in the mirrored room of this consciousness
it's practically a blaze of pure sensibility
and however exaggerated at least somethings going on
and the quick oxygen in the air will not go neglected
will not sulk or fall into blackness and peat
an angel flying slowly, curiously singes its wings
and you diminish for a moment out of respect
for beauty then flare up after all that's the angel
that wrestled with Jacob and loves conflict
as an athlete loves the tape, and we're off into
an immortal contest of actuality and pride
which is love assuming the consciousness of itself
as sky over all, medium of finding and founding
not just resemblance but the magnetic otherness
that that that stands erect in the the spirit's glare
and waits for the joining of an opposite force's breath
so come the winds into our lives and last
longer than despair's sharp snake, crushed before it conquered
so marvellous is not just a poet's greenish namesake
and we live outside his garden in pure tempestuous rights
(hbd, frankie.)
Frank O'Hara
The spent purpose of a perfectly marvellous
life suddenly glimmers and leaps into flame
it's more difficult than you think to make charcoal
it's also pretty hard to remember life's marvellous
but there it is guttering choking then soaring
in the mirrored room of this consciousness
it's practically a blaze of pure sensibility
and however exaggerated at least somethings going on
and the quick oxygen in the air will not go neglected
will not sulk or fall into blackness and peat
an angel flying slowly, curiously singes its wings
and you diminish for a moment out of respect
for beauty then flare up after all that's the angel
that wrestled with Jacob and loves conflict
as an athlete loves the tape, and we're off into
an immortal contest of actuality and pride
which is love assuming the consciousness of itself
as sky over all, medium of finding and founding
not just resemblance but the magnetic otherness
that that that stands erect in the the spirit's glare
and waits for the joining of an opposite force's breath
so come the winds into our lives and last
longer than despair's sharp snake, crushed before it conquered
so marvellous is not just a poet's greenish namesake
and we live outside his garden in pure tempestuous rights
(hbd, frankie.)
3.26.2013
random act of bravery
I threw myself a birthday party.
My iPhone shattered and I locked myself out of my apartment. I wore silk on silk and rocked it like a grandma in lounge pyjamas. The icing got all over everything. The next day my head felt like it might explode from cheap tequila, my weapon of choice. What I remember: the door continuing to open, and people I love flooding in. The friend who asked me to close my eyes and then placed the flower crown he had made for me on my head - all because I dreamt it, and told him. I remember a moment I stole for myself in the bathroom, when I realized my cat-eyes had smudged across my brow and nose and I thought seriously about hiding in the shower for the rest of the night, arrested by panic and anxiety, knowing in that moment I would probably never throw myself a party again. But then everyone sang my name.
I turned 29 years old. You made me a cake. It's time to stop being so afraid that everyone will leave and never come back.
My iPhone shattered and I locked myself out of my apartment. I wore silk on silk and rocked it like a grandma in lounge pyjamas. The icing got all over everything. The next day my head felt like it might explode from cheap tequila, my weapon of choice. What I remember: the door continuing to open, and people I love flooding in. The friend who asked me to close my eyes and then placed the flower crown he had made for me on my head - all because I dreamt it, and told him. I remember a moment I stole for myself in the bathroom, when I realized my cat-eyes had smudged across my brow and nose and I thought seriously about hiding in the shower for the rest of the night, arrested by panic and anxiety, knowing in that moment I would probably never throw myself a party again. But then everyone sang my name.
I turned 29 years old. You made me a cake. It's time to stop being so afraid that everyone will leave and never come back.
3.12.2013
things you don't know about me (yet)
1. I have this sleep app on my iPhone. I have it set to a mixture of 2 parts "Beach (small waves)" and 1 part "Heavy Rain."
2. I am happy with my appearance maybe 1% of the time, and all of those times occur when I accidentally catch myself in a mirror or the glass of an elevator, something in reflection where I think, "Oh, she's pretty," before my brain hiccups and I realize I'm staring at myself. I would say 99% of that 1% happens because I'm wearing bright lipstick.
3. Sometimes I go searching for you late at night.
4. When I was maybe 13 I was playing with a baby and I lifted her up too high and smacked her head against the door frame. We both went wide-eyed with shock and I could swear that she looked at me like, "I know what you just did." She cried and I handed her back to her mom and I never told anyone about it. I don't even know who that baby belonged to.
2. I am happy with my appearance maybe 1% of the time, and all of those times occur when I accidentally catch myself in a mirror or the glass of an elevator, something in reflection where I think, "Oh, she's pretty," before my brain hiccups and I realize I'm staring at myself. I would say 99% of that 1% happens because I'm wearing bright lipstick.
3. Sometimes I go searching for you late at night.
4. When I was maybe 13 I was playing with a baby and I lifted her up too high and smacked her head against the door frame. We both went wide-eyed with shock and I could swear that she looked at me like, "I know what you just did." She cried and I handed her back to her mom and I never told anyone about it. I don't even know who that baby belonged to.
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